Brisbane’s Legal Lowdown: What The Golden Bachelor teaches us about love later in life

Carla: It is that time where we delve into Brisbane’s Legal Lowdown with Attwood Marshall Lawyers.

Have you caught any of The Golden Bachelor on Nine?

You know, it’s all about finding love later in life, and this season’s bachelor, Bear, is a 61-year-old widower looking for his second chance at romance. It’s a different take on the bachelor that we know and love and that we’re used to seeing, but it does raise some very real questions for people in similar stages of life.

People have built careers, raised families and may have more assets under their belt. So, what are some of the things that we should be looking out for before stepping back into love in our 50s and 60s or beyond? Today we’re joined by Attwood Marshall Lawyers, Family Law Special Counsel, Hayley Condon. Good afternoon to you, Hayley.

Hayley: Good afternoon to you, Carla, and to your listeners.

Carla: All right. First up, are you watching Golden Bachelor? It’s all about finding love later in life. Are you watching? What’s your take on it and how different it is to the bachelors that we are used to?

Hayley: I am watching this season of The Golden Bachelor. What’s my take? This season has the same hallmarks of previous seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette in terms of the concept.

Carla: Crazy catty women fighting each other for the love of one man?

Hayley: That’s the one. But my observation is this season, with the participants being a little bit older, and there being a little bit more at stake, especially being on TV, that they’re more committed to getting to know their bachelor, wanting him to know their life story and them knowing his life story. To actually see if there’s any possibility of the relationship working outside the show. But Carla, I do suspect that there’s still that hope of fame at the end.

Carla: I know that’s very cynical of you, Hayley. But I have noticed that is the difference like in other iterations of the batch, and indeed The Bachelorette, they’re young, they’re in their 20s, maybe their 30s, and it does seem at the end of it, they’re all looking for a podcast deal or a media deal and they just end up being famous and take media gigs that I’ve lined myself up for.

But this one it does seem to be more genuine. You know, you’ve got women on there, you’ve got people on there that have life experience under their belt and also with that experience, I guess they’ve worked for longer, maybe they’ve gone through divorce themselves or some of them just haven’t been married or, you know have lived singly. I think the ones that have whittled down have all had relationships, though, the ones that are left from this point in time.

But from a legal point of view, what makes relationships at this stage of life a little more complicated from what you do?

Hayley: Well, Carla, you’ve just touched upon it. You’ve just said at that stage of life, people tend to be much more established. They’ve built up assets, paid down liabilities, may have children or even grandchildren, and they’re nearing retirement. So entering into a committed relationship later in life, there’s much more at stake if that relationship breaks down, or a spouse party passes away, compared to entering a relationship much younger in life.

Carla: Yeah. I guess many people assume that you know, that unless you’re married, you know you there’s no legal commitment there. But it isn’t true, is it? Because we know that de facto laws are different?

Hayley: Exactly right. It’s much easier to identify a marriage. You say I do. You sign a marriage certificate. But with a de facto relationship, it’s not that clear cut. But de facto relationships are recognised under the Family Law Act when it comes to a property settlement or spousal maintenance entitlements if a relationship breaks.

And de facto relationships are also recognised under succession laws when it comes to considering inheritance or superannuation, for example, if a spouse party passes away.

Carla: Is there an amount of time you have to be with that person before being considered a de facto?

Hayley: There is. And the interesting part is the time frame is different when you consider family law, when you consider succession, and when you consider superannuation.

Carla: So, what are the differences between the three?

Hayley: So, with the de facto relationship under the Family Law Act, the first aspect is that the court would need to determine that you’re in that relationship of requisite quality to be classed as de facto and to be in that relationship generally for a total period of two years. There are other qualifying factors like if you had a child together or your relationship was registered under a Civil Partnership Act.

With the Succession Act, again, you need to be in that relationship of the requisite quality, but you need to have been living together for a continuous period of at least two years ending on the date of death.

With superannuation, again you need to be in that relationship of the requisite quality, but there’s no time period.

Carla: What? What if it’s just like love for one night? Or like a week or a month?

Hayley: Well, look obviously, if it’s a night, unlikely.

Carla: Unlikely. But a month, say you form a connection with someone for a month and then they pass away. It’s different with the succession, but with superannuation?

Hayley: Well, look, that’s true. The facts of the relationship would really need to be considered as to whether it had truly ticked over within that time period to that type of relationship. What courts are normally looking at when it comes to determining de facto relationships is, well, what’s the mutual commitment to a shared life? And to what degree have these people merged their lives as a couple when looking at certain criteria.

Carla: It’s odd when you think about finding a partner later in life, you know, we talk about you’re already established for the most part, you’ve got your own lives that you’re bringing into this partnership, and sometimes I know from personal experience they have entered a relationship, but they want to join their lives together but have their separate houses or separate residences. What can people do to protect themselves and still enjoy the relationship in the eyes of the law or how can they enjoy the relationship and protect themselves when there are things like that occur?

Hayley: Certainly. Well, there’s, there’s two considerations here. There is obviously the family law side, what if the relationship breaks down in the future? But there is also the succession planning side, what if one spouse party passes away? It’s my view that it’s really important having open and honest conversations early in the relationship to understand what the expectations are.

Carla: That’s a bit of a mood killer, isn’t it?

Hayley: It is a mood kill but…

Carla: When it throws a romance.

Hayley: It’s generally an important one to have because you don’t want surprises down the track, especially if a spouse party passes away and there hasn’t been those discussions or a plan put in place, keeping in mind there are certain individuals under the succession act who can make a claim against a deceased person’s estate if they haven’t been adequately provided for in the will.

And then, of course, there’s the family law side. There’s the opportunity of parties who are already established with separate families looking to put some element of protection in place through a financial agreement, commonly termed binding financial agreement, under the Family Law Act, where they’re able to set out very clearly, hey, if we separate this is what will happen with our individual and any joint assets, thereby avoiding unpleasantness and future litigation.

Carla: It sounds like it’s something that would be entirely essential then that if you do find love later in life that you know as uncomfortable as it might be to bring it up, but estate planning, potentially might be something you should be talking about?

Hayley: Look, everybody should be considering their estate plan no matter what age. But if you’re established and you’re looking at a relationship later in life, it’s generally going to involve a blended family and that can start to get really complex if you don’t have these discussions.

Are you going to have joint assets in the future? If you are, how are you going to hold those assets? What happens to them when one party passes away? Or if you’re going to keep things completely separate because you’ve mentioned that, well, will the surviving spouse be provided for in the estate plan or is it agreed that the assets of the deceased will remain with their children or their family? It’s important to have those very unsexy essential conversations.

Carla: I’m glad you’re around to help us sort through all of this sort of stuff. What about when it comes to things like Centrelink benefits and aged care planning when you enter into a new relationship? What about those sorts of things? How do they come into play?

Hayley: These are extra little challenges when entering into new relationships, so Services Australia do require people who are receiving a pension to disclose any de facto relationship or obviously marriage that they are in.

The consequence of that normally is that the income and the asset position of their partner is considered by Centrelink when assessing pensions or any other entitlements.

And in terms of aged care, the financial circumstances of their partner is generally also very relevant when it comes to things like care fee assessments and of course pension assessments during a transition into a facility.

Carla: Hayley, what you do is fascinating. I didn’t think you could get much more interesting than pets in your will. Now we’re talking about later in life, love and the practicalities around it. I just hope that romance was going to be in the air, and you didn’t have to think about these sorts of things, but these are the types of practicalities that despite being very unsexy are very practical.

Hayley: They certainly are, and look everyone’s entitled to love, no matter how old you are. It’s just about being informed and being protected as far as you can.

Carla: Oh my gosh. And we can catch up with you, of course, at Attwood Marshall Lawyers. Hayley, fascinating stuff. Are you going to tune in to see who gets the ultimate golden rose or the ultimate well, proposed to, that’s the ultimate prize, isn’t it?

Hayley: It is. Absolutely. I’m too invested now to back out.

Carla: Who are you backing? Who’s your tip?

Hayley: That’s a tricky one. I’m thinking that Doctor Kim could certainly be in there based on this week’s episodes that have been aired.

Carla: The cliff hanger? Really? Okay, alright. Well, maybe we need to get together and watch the grand finale together. Of course, The Golden Bachelor is what we’re talking about. Thank you so much for coming in as always, from Attwood Marshall Lawyers, Hayley Condon there. Have a great afternoon.

Hayley: Thanks, Carla, pleasure.