In these times of sky-high rents, soaring property prices and unrealistic deposits for mortgages, it’s not uncommon for older individuals to find themselves sharing their home with their adult children. What happens, however, when parents have had enough? Our Property and Commercial Associate, Mieke Elzer explains your options.
The phenomenon of “boomerang kids,” adult children returning to or remaining in their parents’ homes, is on the rise in Australia. With skyrocketing property prices, stagnant wages, and high rental costs, many young adults find it challenging to leave the family nest.
For parents, this situation can bring joy, financial strain, or tension, depending on how well the living arrangement is managed. Whilst living with adult children can start off harmonious, situations can easily change and become stressful, especially if adult children have behavioural problems, mental health conditions, drug or alcohol addiction, gambling issues, or face unemployment or other financial difficulties. What you may have been able to tolerate for a short term, can become challenging when the timeline stretches out or becomes uncertain. Legal professionals are increasingly being approached for advice on how to navigate these complex scenarios.
This article explores strategies parents can use to set clear expectations, manage legal issues around eviction, and considers property law solutions to help adult children achieve independence.
Negotiating living arrangements
Clear communication is essential when adult children live at home. Parents should establish expectations from the outset to prevent misunderstandings or resentment. Key points to discuss include:
- Financial Contributions: Should the adult child contribute to rent, utilities, or groceries? If so, how much?
- Household Responsibilities: Will they participate in chores such as cleaning or cooking?
- Duration of Stay: Is the arrangement temporary, or open-ended? If temporary, set a target date for independence.
- Social rules and boundaries: For example, do you allow drinking alcohol or smoking in the house and how many guests, if any, may your adult children invite to the home.
Drafting a written agreement can formalise these discussions. While the agreement may not be legally binding in the same way as a tenancy agreement, such documents can serve as a reference point and reduce the potential for disputes.
If there is an area of your house that your adult child can have exclusive possession of, you may wish to instead consider entering into a Residential Tenancy Agreement. A Residential Tenancy Agreement creates legally enforceable rights and responsibilities for both you and your adult child. Standard Form Residential Tenancy Agreements are available online. For more information visit here for NSW, and here for Queensland. Our Property Lawyers can assist in drafting special conditions for the Agreement.
It’s important to recognise that adult children living at home often do so due to dire or unfavourable circumstances in their life, not by choice. As a result, it may be difficult for them to consider your wishes or best interests. Whilst it is understandable that you would be concerned for your child’s welfare, it’s important not to neglect your own mental health and physical welfare in the process.
When things take a downhill turn
When relationships deteriorate or the arrangement is no longer viable, parents may consider asking their adult child to leave. Under Australian law, removing an adult child from the home can be legally complex.
- Legal Status: In most cases, adult children living at home are considered licensees, not tenants. This means they occupy the property with the parent’s consent, which can be withdrawn at any time.
- Eviction Process: If the adult child refuses to leave, parents may need to issue a written notice. Should the situation escalate, seeking an order from the Local Court may be necessary.
- Police Involvement: Law enforcement can intervene in cases where there is a breach of peace, but parents should aim to resolve matters amicably before resorting to such measures.
If living with your adult children isn’t working out and you feel it’s time to ask them to leave, it can be a challenge to have that conversation. It’s normal to feel anxious about broaching the subject.
The first step is to inform them of your decision. You may consider a one-to-one conversation, or if you are worried about their reaction, ask a trusted third party such as a relative or friend who can act as an impartial voice, to ensure the conversation remains civil and constructive. The old adage that children often behave worst for their own parents may still ring true as they become adults.
Once you’ve decided how you will tell them, the next step is deciding when. Ensure to choose a time for this conversation carefully. Allowing plenty of time for the dialogue will help to ensure all parties feel calm and not stressed. Be clear about how you would like the living arrangements to change, how you see that happening and make sure you set a timeframe and remain firm about it.
It is normal to feel helpless, frustrated, or even afraid if your child does not comply with your wishes. Remember, it is your home, and you have the legal right to make decisions about your property and living arrangements. You can decide who stays there and for how long.
Options available if you have asked your adult child to leave, and they refuse
Mediation
Professional mediators can help facilitate discussion between you and your adult children. Mediation allows you to talk in a safe and informal environment with a trained professional with the goal to reach mutual agreements.
However, mediation does have limitations. It is voluntary and your adult children cannot be forced to attend. Furthermore, if they do attend and an agreement is reached, the decision is not legally binding so there is nothing to stop your children from reneging on their promise to leave.
How Attwood Marshall Lawyers can help reclaim your home
If mediation does not work, you might consider taking legal action against your child. Depending on whether your child has a legal right to be there, you will need to take different steps to evict them.
If you and your adult child have a tenancy agreement in place, even if it is a verbal agreement wherein the adult child has exclusive possession of part or all of your home in exchange for rent, they will have tenants’ rights. If this is the case our lawyers can support you by first sending a Notice to Vacate and if necessary apply to your state’s Civil and Administrative Tribunal to have them evicted.
If your adult child is a co-owner of the property you may need to consider one party buying out the other. Our Property Lawyers can review your current ownership arrangements and any tenancy agreement in place and help you understand your property rights and obligations.
If your child does not fit into the categories listed above and will not leave, you can simply make it clear that they no longer have your consent to be at the property. A failure by your adult child to observe this boundary constitutes trespass. Trespass applies when someone comes onto your property without agreement or refuses to leave after you have asked them to. If you feel your adult child is trespassing, you should talk to the police and change the locks at the property.
Elder Abuse
Elder abuse can be financial, emotional, psychological, physical, sexual, social, or neglect (intentional or unintentional). Elder abuse usually involves an older person suffering harm or distress at the hands of someone they trust.
As an all-services law firm, Attwood Marshall Lawyers can support you with legal matters when adult children won’t leave home. This area of law can cross into several areas of law, including property, family and aged care law. We have specialist lawyers in all these areas to support you every step of the way. If your child has made threats or acted violently or you believe you are the victim of elder abuse you should contact the police.
Depending on your circumstances, our Family Law department could apply for a Family Violence Order (FVO), a court order that prohibits or restricts your child’s behaviour, and also an Exclusion Order that demands your child has to move out and may prohibit them from entering the property or coming near it.
If your child disobeys an Order of the Court, it is a crime, and charges may be pressed. It’s worth remembering these orders can be made even if your child co-owns or co-rents the property.
You may wish to reach out to the following support services to ensure your home is a safe environment for you, free from fear or abuse of your adult children.
Support services available
- Lifeline 13 11 14
- National Elder Abuse 1800 ELDERHelp (1800 353 374)
- Seniors Rights Service provides free legal advice and assistance for older people in a range of areas of law. Tel: 1800 424 079 www.seniorsrightsservice.org.au
- Community Justice Centres are a free government service to help people resolve disputes through mediation. Tel: 1800 990 777 www.cjc.justice.nsw.gov.au
- NSW Civil and Administrative Tribunal (NCAT) Tel: 1300 006 228 www.ncat.nsw.gov.au
- QLD Civil and Administrative Tribunal (QCAT) Tel: 1300 753 228 www.qcat.qld.gov.au
- Domestic Violence Hotline provides free and confidential counselling, advice and assistance. Tel: 1800 656 463
Property law solutions for long-term independence
Helping adult children achieve financial independence may require creative property law strategies. Here are a few approaches parents can consider:
a) Acting as Guarantor
Parents can act as guarantors on a child’s home loan, allowing them to secure a property with reduced financial barriers. While this can be a generous move, it comes with significant risks:
- Financial Exposure: If the child defaults on the loan, the parents may be liable for repayments.
- Impact on Credit: Parents’ credit scores could be affected if the child’s loan repayments fall behind.
b) Co-Ownership
Co-owning property with an adult child is another viable option. Parents and children can purchase a property as joint tenants or tenants in common. While this arrangement can be beneficial, it’s important to:
- Establish a co-ownership agreement detailing contributions, decision-making processes, and exit strategies.
- Consider tax implications, including potential capital gains tax liabilities.
c) Granny Flat Agreements
Building a granny flat on the family property for an adult child to live in provides a semi-independent solution. These arrangements should include:
- Formal Agreements: A written contract outlining occupancy terms, financial contributions, and maintenance responsibilities.
- Succession Planning: Address what happens to the flat if the property is sold or transferred.
Attwood Marshall Lawyers supporting our Elder community
The trend of adult children living at home is unlikely to wane in the near future, given current economic pressures. While these arrangements can be mutually beneficial, they also require careful planning and clear communication. For parents, consulting a lawyer can provide clarity and protection when navigating these situations. By leveraging legal tools and strategies, families can strike a balance between supporting their children and safeguarding their own financial and emotional well-being.
Our Property & Commercial Law department can assist in drafting co-ownership agreements, guarantor documents, or helping to structure granny flat agreements that align with property and tax laws.
To get professional and prompt advice, contact Property and Commercial Department Manager Taylah Lein on direct line 07 5506 8208, email tlein@attwoodmarshall.com.au or call our 24/7 phone line on 1800 621 071.
