Law Talks Episode: When it’s time for adult kids to move out – your legal rights as a homeowner

Robyn: Welcome to law talks. Today, we’re going to discuss a challenge that’s becoming increasingly common.

Rising rents, soaring house prices and the difficulty of getting onto the property ladder mean many adult children are staying in the family home well into their 20s, 30s and sometimes even moving back in with their parents in their 40s.

While this arrangement can work for some, for others it can cause strain, and parents may eventually reach the point where they feel it’s time for their children to move out.

We’re joined by Attwood Marshall Lawyers’ Property and Commercial Law Senior Associate, Mieke Elzer. Thanks for joining us, Mieke.

Mieke: Thanks, Robyn.

Robyn: Well, living with adult children is more common these days, especially given the economic pressures. Let’s discuss why this trend is rising and why it might lead to tension in some households.

Mieke: Okay. The rising cost of living, high rent and property prices are significant factors. While some parents welcome their adult children back, others face challenges when the arrangement becomes prolonged.

Issues like financial strain, lack of privacy and differing lifestyles can lead to tension. It’s essential to establish clear boundaries and expectations from the outset so as to maintain harmony.

Robyn: And what are the key areas parents should discuss upfront with adult children living at home to avoid misunderstandings?

Mieke: Well, open communication is crucial. Parents should discuss things like financial contributions, will the adult children contribute to rent, utilities or groceries, and if so, how much? Household responsibilities: will they participate in chores such as cleaning or cooking? Duration of their stay; is the arrangement temporary or open ended? And if temporary, set a target date for independence. And lastly social rules and boundaries. For example, do you allow drinking alcohol or smoking in the house? And how many guests, if any, may your adult children invite to the home?

Robyn: Would you recommend putting those expectations in writing?

Mieke: Absolutely. Having a written agreement can formalise discussions and serve as a reference point, reducing potential disputes. While not legally binding like a tenancy agreement, it helps clarify expectations and can cover things like financial contributions, chores, durations, house rules.

If the adult child, however, has exclusive possession of part of the home and pays rent, a formal residential tenancy agreement might be appropriate in those situations.

Robyn: So, what’s the legal distinction between an adult child as a licensee versus a tenant and why does this matter for eviction purposes?

Mieke: Well, an adult child living at home is typically considered a licensee, not a tenant.

This means they occupy the property with the parents’ consent, which can be withdrawn at any time.

If the arrangement is more structured, however, such as paying rent for exclusive possession, even when there is not a written tenancy agreement in place, the adult child may be considered a tenant and formal eviction procedures would then apply.

Robyn: And what about if an adult child is refusing to leave the property? What steps can parents take to resolve the situation?

Mieke: I’m just laughing because I have got an adult child living at my house.

Robyn: I do too.

Mieke: So, if living with your adult children isn’t working out and you feel it’s time to ask them to leave, it can be a challenge to have that conversation.

It’s normal to feel anxious about broaching the subject. Where there is a tenancy agreement in place, the parent as a landlord may be able to issue an eviction notice.

Where there is no tenancy agreement in place, however, the parent can issue a written notice making it clear that they no longer have your consent to be at the property.

A failure by your adult child to observe this boundary, essentially, it constitutes trespass. Now, trespass applies when someone comes onto your property without agreement or refuses to leave after you’ve asked them to.

If you feel your adult child is trespassing, you should talk to the police and change the locks at the property. Now, depending on your circumstances, our family law department could apply for a family violence order; a court order that prohibits or restricts your child’s behaviour. And also, an exclusion order that demands your child has to move out and may prohibit them from entering the property or coming near it.

Robyn: So, before it got to that, could mediation work in a situation like this?

Mieke: Well, it’s important to recognise that adult children living at home often do so due to dire or unfavourable circumstances in their life, not by choice. So as a result, it may be difficult for them to consider your wishes or best interests.

Mediation can be a useful option in these situations before things escalate. A mediator is a neutral third party who facilitates a conversation between the parent and adult child in a safe and structured way. The goal is to reach an agreement, whether that’s about contributions, behaviour or a moving out timeline.

The limitation with mediation is that it’s voluntary, so you can’t force your child to participate. That said, where both sides are willing, it often works well.

Robyn: And how does the law address situations involving threats, violent behaviour, or elder abuse, and what protections are available for parents in those cases?

Mieke: If things escalate to threats, violence or elder abuse, the situations moved beyond a family disagreement into a safety issue. In those cases, the law offers strong protections. So, parents can apply for a domestic violence order or apprehended violence order to protect themselves, and police can be involved immediately if there’s any risk of harm.

It’s important to stress that no one should feel unsafe in their own home, and there are legal pathways and support services available if an adult child’s behaviour crosses that line.

Whilst it’s understandable that you would be concerned for your child’s welfare, it’s important not to neglect your own mental health and physical welfare in that process.

Robyn: Yeah, absolutely. And what options are available for parents that want to help their adult children achieve financial independence?

Mieke: Helping adult children achieve financial independence may require some creative property law strategies, for example, going guarantor on a loan for the adult child so that they can buy their own home. Purchasing a property as a co-owner, so your adult child can live in it. Or building a granny flat on the family property.

It’s important that any parent considering these options first obtains financial and legal advice.

Robyn: Yeah. And that wraps up today’s episode of law talks. A big thank you to Mieke from Attwood Marshall Lawyers for shedding light on this increasingly common and often complex situation.

Mieke: Thanks very much, Robyn.

Robyn: You’ve been listening to law talks here on 4CRB, which you can hear every Friday morning from 9 o’clock. And if you missed any part of the show, it is available for replay on our website 4crb.com.